Title: Robert Liston

Text: Robert liston is famous for having performed the only surgery with a 300% morality rate.

Text: He operated so quickly that he accidentally amputated his assistant’s fingers along with the patient’s leg. They would both die of gangrene.

Text: During the operation he also cut the coattails of a nearby spectator, who then died instantly of fright.

Robert Liston: “Oh, come one. How can you blame me for that?”

Text: This event greatly complicated his search to find a replacement assistant.

Applicant: “So why did the last surgical assistant leave?”

Robert Liston: “Ummm… personal reasons?”

this-isnt-nesseria… or this-isn’t-neisseria.